How to handle change

0

dandelion-199271_1920

Change is inevitable, change is a part of our lives, in fact, the only thing we can be sure of is that life will change .

Day changes into night, seasons changes, we are changing constantly and I hope and pray that we do. Our body is a great example of constant change. The body that we had at age 10 is not the same we had at age 20 or 30 and we certainly won’t look the same at age 60. Just like our body, our mind, our thought process , our views, our opinion , our belief system is also changing constantly . People change, their perspective change  !! We are constantly growing and evolving, isn’t that what we are here for ? Every life experience teaches us new things. Just one example, I grew up thinking and hearing that, ” It is a good thing to  have a fear of God , fear of parents and elders “. When I started to read and understand our scriptures, I realized we need Love not fear.  Build our relationships  based on Love and not fear . We are to Love God, our parents and elders.  Fear does not equate to Respect. We will do the right thing out of love more than out of fear. I am so grateful for that moment when I changed and shed this old fear-based belief. 

Not just we as people change but also our surrounding, our life experiences, our situations changes time to time many times when we least expect it. Some changes are brought about by us , some for us, some around us and many without any warning signals.

Sometimes change is just what we wanted but most time in our life it’s not what we expected , wanted or liked. Life keeps throwing a curve ball at us . Labeling it as right or wrong, denying it, avoiding it  won’t change it except it delays getting over with the pain .

Yes, change brings a lot of emotions, we can be hurt, feel pain and maybe even get depressed at times and it is OK to feel that way.  The most loving thing we can do is to give ourselves permission to feel those emotions instead of pushing it away or  feeling guilty about it . The worst thing we can do is to preach someone to be positive about it during those emotions and making them feel guilty for feeling down on top of feeling pain.  The most positive thing to do is to be nonjudgmental towards how we feel , our emotions as they are and give them a chance to get metabolized . Only then can we move forward with it. If we don’t allow ourselves  to experience it and metabolize it, we will remain stuck in that which does not exist, where physically we are in present but emotionally still stuck in past and our only companion is big, daunting question “why ” or ” Why not “.

No matter how much we argue and how valid our argument is , the blame game will not undo that is done. It cannot recreate past in the present . Every moment is a death of past and birth of new present. We mourn the death and forget to celebrate the birth.  It’s like a boy who was scooping out darkness out of his window with an empty bucket entire night, tirelessly without a moment of rest , because he was scared of resting in the dark . When the sun came, he thought that he finally removed darkness but by then he was tired, exhausted and lost all his time of rest. All he had to do was to find a switch to light a bulb and rest peacefully instead of trying to get rid of darkness entire night.

So in those moments, in spite of being fearful, all we have to do is find that switch .

It’s OK to be scared  for a little bit and feel pain but give yourself permission to feel what you feel , stop resisting new and find your switch .

There is a solution to every darkness. Accepting it doesn’t mean non-action, accepting means cease to resist and use your energy in adapting and evolving instead of resisting and blaming . Choosing not to evolve is also a choice and we know of those who chose that and that is OK too.

Every moment is a new beginning . Nothing is permanent . Change is inevitable . If good time didn’t last, neither will tough time. In the end good and bad are very relative . The best thing we can do is open our heart, conquer our fear and step into new with love and kindness. It reminds me of what Wayne Dyer once said, ” If we change the way we look at things, the way things look changes “. When I read this statement to someone, the response I got was, ” So does that mean, things will go back to how it was earlier? ” I thought to myself, ” you missed the whole point buddy.” Instead, I replied , ” It just means, you will find your switch. “ 

 

 

0

8 comments

  1. True that change is inevitable but it’s hard to accept it cause we sometimes become selfish and lazy to change our ways. We are so comfortable with how things are that any slight variation in the normal, makes us panic!!! A good read!!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *